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  • Elizabeth Hadnett

Creating Your Own Personal Vows

Perhaps you would like to consider writing your own wedding vows.

Wedding Rings

Where to start?

When you decide to create your own wedding vows, don’t leave it until the very last moment. You simply won’t have enough time to write something you are truly happy with, and you may wish to polish it a little before your special day.

Set the mood and tone.

Start by talking to your partner, some couples like to have a similar tone others may wish to write from the heart and simply be themselves.

How long should vows be?

I would recommend a maximum of two minutes – ideally, one minute. Writers would advise the longer you take to say something, the more you lose the impact and risk repeating yourself.

Use sample vows as a guide.

Sample vows are an excellent blueprint for what you may like to say. You’ll notice they all have things in common – a name, the word ‘love’, and a promise of some kind. They mention the future, happiness and support in difficult times. These may be some of the things you’d like to say, in your own words.

Look for inspiration.

At some point in our lives, we have all been moved by words of love. It may have been a song, a passage in a book, a poem, or even a reading at a friend’s wedding.

These are all great sources of ideas. You could remember the ones that meant most to you, or simply find a book of love poems and enjoy reading through them for inspiration.

Write now, edit later.

There are two tricks most writers swear by. Firstly, write down any words that float to mind, edit later.

This way, you’re free to say what you want, without keeping to a strict word limit. Then, re-read and take away whatever sounds unnecessary. Before you know it, you’ll be getting close to the number of words you want.

Second, sit with it, write then leave, and re-read the next day. Looking at your words with completely fresh eyes will give you a new perspective and make editing easier.

Read it out loud.

You’re writing for speech – so whenever you arrive at a draft you think will work, read it out loud to yourself. Speaking words out loud lets you hear all the mistakes, add natural pauses, and shorten long sentences.

Don’t worry about memorising.

It’s going to be an emotional day and going blank at the most important part of the ceremony isn’t something you should worry about.

I will have your loving words printed, all you have to do is look into the eyes of the one you love and read.

Wedding Ritual: A Cord of Three Strands.

The Cord of Three Strands is a beautiful wedding ritual, each of the strand holds special meaning to couples.

Traditionally, the ritual is performed with one purple, one gold, and one white cord, which represent -

The God of your understanding, Partner one and Partner two.

Purple: Power, piety, sanctity, sentimentality

Gold: Energy, wealth, intelligence, longevity

White: Purity, concentration, meditation, peace

Nowadays couples may choose any colour they wish.

The three individual strands are braided together to form one strong cord. The cords might be affixed to a decorative display, held by a beloved family member as the couple takes turns twisting the braid into place, or held by partner one as partner two braids the strands together.

This ritual usually follows the exchange of vows and rings. To begin the ritual, the wedding officiant will introduce the meaning of the ceremony, say a few words about its meaning, as the couple ties the braid.

This is a beautiful meaningful ritual with a lovely keepsake to display in your home for many years to come.

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